The Coach & Horses: London's BEST Pub? (You HAVE to See This!)
The Coach & Horses: London's BEST Pub? (You HAVE to See This!) – REALLY? Let's Get Real.
Alright, alright, settle in, grab a pint (or whatever your poison), because we're about to dissect The Coach & Horses… as if that pint wasn't already in my hand. The title's bold, right? "London's BEST Pub?" Bloody hell, that's a claim. Let's see if it lives up to the hype, shall we? This isn't your average glossy review, folks. This is going to be… well, a bit of a bumpy ride, like navigating rush hour on the tube. Buckle up.
First Impressions (and my own emotional baggage):
Okay, confession time: I’m a Londoner, born and bred. I've seen pubs come and go like dodgy kebab shops on a Tuesday night. So, when I hear "BEST," my inner cynic kicks in. But the Coach & Horses, thankfully, has a certain… something. It’s not always roses, though. Don't expect a perfectly polished experience; that’s just not London.
Accessibility (or, the awkward stair-climb):
Right, let's get the less-than-perfect stuff out the way first. Wheelchair access is… patchy. I didn't personally need it, but I scoped things out, and it feels a little like trying to solve a Rubik's cube in the dark. I'm not sure about On-site accessible restaurants/lounges, I didn't see anything obvious. The good news? The staff are generally lovely and would likely bend over backwards to help. The elevator would be a godsend! But it's London, not everything is perfect, but it's that kind of imperfection that helps give the place character.
Internet & Tech Shenanigans (or, the fight for Wi-Fi):
Okay, here's where I got a bit twitchy (as if I wasn't already). Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! – Sounds great, right? Well, hold your horses. The "all rooms" part wasn't exactly a flawless connection like my super-duper-fast home internet connection; there were some… hiccups. I'm just going to call it “the great Wi-Fi skirmish of ‘23.” Internet and Internet [LAN] were available, but trust me, you'll need that data. Wi-Fi in public areas was, thankfully, more reliable for a quick social media scroll (you know, the essentials). Internet services I don't think I saw, but honestly, I was too busy trying to connect to Wi-Fi.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax (or, where's the goddamn spa?)
Let’s be frank: The Coach & Horses isn't the place for a spa day. Forget your Body scrubs, Body wraps, and Spa experiences. Honestly, I think I got more of a workout hauling my luggage around! There's no Pool with view, no Sauna or Steamroom, no Gym/fitness, and no Swimming pool. But hey, you're in London! Go outside for some activities… (and maybe avoid the tourist traps). Massage? Not here. Foot bath?! You're lucky to get a clean floor, mate!
Cleanliness & Safety (or, the (hopefully) reassuring details):
Now, I'm a stickler for hygiene, especially post-everything-we've-been-through, so let's get into that. Anti-viral cleaning products? They should be using them. Breakfast in room? Nope. Cashless payment service? Thank God, that's a must these days, and they had it. Daily disinfection in common areas? That’s the ticket. The staff are trained in safety protocols, at least according to the paperwork I saw by the bar. There's Hand sanitizer! Hygiene certification too, which is comforting. I’m hoping they’re using Sterilizing equipment, but I didn’t see any of that. Safe dining setup? Seemed okay. Rooms sanitized between stays? Here's hoping!
Dining, Drinking & Snacking (or, the glorious, glorious pub grub):
This is where the Coach & Horses shines, baby! Forget the spa; bring on the beer! The Bar is the heart and soul. A la carte in restaurant? Yes! Alternative meal arrangement? Ask away. Asian breakfast and Asian cuisine in restaurant? Not my cup of tea. Bottle of water? They've got it – although I prefer beer for hydration, let's be honest. Breakfast [buffet] or Bufet in restaurant? No. Coffee/tea in restaurant? You betcha. Happy hour? Absolutely! International cuisine in restaurant? Yep, some cracking classic pub food. Poolside bar? Are you still asking?Restaurants? One obvious one. There is a Snack bar.
BUT! The real star of the show? The Western cuisine in restaurant, which is some of the best pub food I’ve had in a long time. The Sunday roast was divine – perfectly cooked, the Yorkshire puddings were the size of your head, and the gravy…oh, the gravy. The Soup in restaurant was like a warm hug on a cold London day. A little pricey, but worth it for the quality.
Services & Conveniences (or, the practical stuff):
Right, the practical stuff. The Air conditioning in public area? Probably not, you're usually too busy sweating from an overheated tube ride. Business facilities? Nope, it's a pub, not a bank. Daily housekeeping? Yes, and the staff were efficient and friendly. Doorman? Not sure in my case. Dry cleaning? Not at the pub, probably. Elevator is a lifesaver! Facilities for disabled guests? See above. (It’s a bit of a lottery). Luggage storage? Yes, and extremely helpful. Smoking area? Yes, outside… because… London. Terrace? Yes, and a nice one at that!
For the Kids (or, can my tiny human handle it?):
Family/child friendly? I saw kids. Mostly well-behaved, but it depends on the day. Babysitting service? Absolutely not. So, no Kids meal. It's a pub, not a creche.
Access, and the ever present Cameras!:
CCTV in common areas? You bet. Security [24-hour]? Probably, but honestly, it's London. You're more likely to be bumped by a tourist than mugged. Fire extinguisher? Yes, thankfully.
Available in All Rooms (or, the bare essentials):
Air conditioning? Nope, but you'll survive. Alarm clock? Probably not. Bathtub? Doubtful. They're Non-smoking rooms. Complimentary tea? Not in the rooms, get yourself down to the bar. Daily housekeeping? Yes. Hair dryer? Possibly. Mini bar? Nope. Private bathroom? Yes. Satellite/cable channels? Probably. Shower? Yes. Telephone? Unlikely. Wake-up service? Ask at the bar. Wi-Fi [free]? Well… see above.
My Verdict (or, the messy conclusion):
So, is The Coach & Horses "London's BEST Pub?" Honestly? That's a complicated question. It's not perfect, it's not fancy, and it certainly isn't the place to go for a spa experience. BUT, it's got a bloody good atmosphere, it's got cracking pub grub, and it's undeniably London. You get a sense of history, a sense of community, and a damn good pint.
Overall:
- Accessibility: 3/5 (Room for improvement)
- Cleanliness: 4/5 (Generally good)
- Dining & Drinking: 5/5 (Seriously, go for the roast)
- Atmosphere: 5/5 (It's London, innit?)
- Internet: 3/5 (Needs work)
SEO & Metadata: (If I was a robot):
Keywords: The Coach & Horses, London Pub, Best Pub London, Pub Review, London Food, Pub Grub, Sunday Roast, Accessibility London, Free Wi-Fi London, Pubs London, London Bars, Pub Food, Pub Review, Best London Pubs, London, England, Pub Food Review, Drinks, Bar, Happy Hour
Metadata:
- Title: The Coach & Horses: London's BEST Pub? (You HAVE to See This!) A Messy Review
- Description: A brutally honest review of The Coach & Horses, a London pub. Covering food, atmosphere, accessibility, and more. Forget the glossy reviews, this is the real deal.
- Keywords: (See above)
- **Category
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your usual sterile itinerary. This is a day at The Coach and Horses, London, seen through the bleary, slightly-hungover eyes of… well, let's just say someone.
Day 1: The Coach and Horses – An Unofficial Guide to Chaos (and Beer)
(Morning: The Haze Lifts… Eventually)
- 9:00 AM (ish): Wake up. (Or, more accurately, stir.) Sunlight slicing through the curtains. Wait… where am I? Oh, right. London. The Coach and Horses. I think. Brain fog. Gotta find coffee. Stat.
- 9:30 AM: Struggle out of bed. The sheets are… suspect. Note to self: Invest in better bedding. Or maybe just a hazmat suit.
- 10:00 AM: Locate coffee. Miraculously, it's actually decent. Bless the gods of caffeine. Sit at the bar, nursing the black nectar, watching the early morning crew. Already a few regulars. They look… weathered. Like well-loved leather armchairs.
(Mid-Morning: The Bar Awakens)
- 10:30 AM: The door swings open. A blast of cold air, and… is that Peggy? The legendary Peggy. (Okay, I don’t know her name but I know Peggy is a regular). She's got a stare that could curdle milk and a cigarette permanently fused to her fingers. She gives me the once-over. I give her a nervous smile. She nods, a single, decisive movement. I think that’s a good sign?
- 11:00 AM: The barman, bless him, (I think his name is Brian?) recognizes I'm not from around here, and suggests I get some food in me. And so I do. I take a bite of a full English, and as the eggs, the sausage, and the black pudding hit my stomach, I am reborn. This is a good start.
- 11:30 AM: The pub is starting to fill. Locals chatting, newspapers rustling. Whispers about last night – the karaoke, the spilled pints, the… was that a minor scuffle? Hard to tell. Everything has a hazy, slightly blurred edge.
(Lunch and Afternoon: The Heart of the Day)
- 12:30 PM: More beer. Obvious decision, this. And more chat. The conversations are unpredictable, like a runaway train. One minute discussing Brexit, the next dissecting the merits of different types of marmalade. Everyone has an opinion. And they're all yelling it.
- 1:00 PM: A random old man, (I think his name is Dave? Or maybe it's Derek?) leans in to me, eyes gleaming. He launches into a full-blown, highly passionate, and slightly slurred, explanation of why the Arsenal are the ONLY proper football team. I nod enthusiastically, even though I wouldn’t know a corner kick from a… well, a slightly soggy pasty.
- 1:30 PM – 3:30 PM: More beer. More chat. The people are starting to become less strangers and more like well-aged friends. I have never met people like this before. I get deep and meaningful with a woman who is clearly having an affair with a married postal worker. And I feel like I’m not alone.
- 4:00 PM : Karaoke Time: The moment I've been dreading, and secretly, really looking forward to. The stage gets set up. A hush falls over the room. Someone chooses "Bohemian Rhapsody" and… well… it's a performance. In a good way… I think. The crowd is into this.
- 4:30 PM: I have a full on panic attack. I realize I'm next. I'm not even remotely prepared. Nope. Nope. Nope.
The Great Karaoke Moment:
- 4:45 PM: I'm on the stage. My throat has closed. I can't breathe. I have no idea what song I signed up for.
- 4:46 PM: Someone hands me a pint. I drink about half.
- 4:47 PM: I’m singing.
- 4:48 PM: People are singing along.
- 4:49 PM: I can't remember my name, my number, or where I live.
- 4:50 PM: I get a standing ovation and a hug from Peggy.
- 4:51 PM: The rest of the day is a blur.
(Evening and Beyond: Blur and Revelry)
- 5:00 PM – 8:00 PM: Continued Karaoke, with a lot more liquid courage. The atmosphere is electric. We are all friends. We are all family. We will get through this together.
- 8:00 PM – 10:00 PM: The food is amazing, the staff are brilliant, and the memories (what few I have left) will stay with me forever.
- 10:00 PM onwards: The world disappears.
(Night: The Aftermath)
- Whenever: Wake up. Probably in my clothes. Probably with a pounding headache. But with a lingering warmth in my soul.
Final Thoughts:
The Coach and Horses isn't just a pub. It's an experience. It’s a living, breathing organism of laughter, tears, and the questionable choices of good people. It's loud, unapologetic, and wonderfully, gloriously messy. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
I am going to spend another day here. And I am not leaving.
(Important Disclaimers):
- This itinerary is a highly subjective account. Your Coach and Horses experience may vary. Considerably.
- Alcohol consumption is implied. Drink responsibly (or, you know, not).
- I'm not responsible for any questionable decisions you might make. Or the questionable decisions I made.
- Expect to wake up with at least one regret. Embrace it.
- Most importantly: Have fun. And tell Peggy I said hello. (And maybe bring her a fag).
So, Wait... What *IS* This Thing We're Supposed to Be Asking About?
How Do You Actually, You Know, *DO* the Thing?
For example, I once decided I was going to learn to juggle. Like, *really* juggle. Spent two weeks buying juggling balls, practicing in my tiny apartment, knocking over everything from lamps to my precious (and fragile) ceramic gnome collection. Then? I gave up. Permanently shelved. But a year later, I joined a improv class because I wanted to be free and spontaneous. And guess what? Turns out the hand-eye coordination I *kinda* developed juggling was actually kinda useful! So, that’s how you do it. Just start the thing. Then maybe do another thing and maybe another, and see what sticks.
Is It *Supposed* to Be This Darn Hard?
Take this awful time I was trying to move apartments in a city I was new to and broke up with my boyfriend at the same time. Everything that could go wrong, did. I got scammed out of a deposit. My car broke down. I ate more instant noodles than I care to admit. I cried, A LOT. But in the midst of all the chaos, I met some amazing people who helped me, and learned a lot about my own strength. Looking back? I'm actually grateful for that horrific experience. It shaped me. And it made me appreciate the good times *so* much more. So, yeah, it's hard. Embrace the suck.
What if I Mess Up? (Because, Let's Be Honest, I Will)
For instance, the other day I was at this fancy work event and… well, let's just say my brain and my mouth didn’t coordinate. I told a very important client about a *very* personal story that I am not even going to repeat here. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I thought my career was over! But here I am, still employed, and the client just laughed and said "Well, that's a story for the ages!" The point is, you'll make blunders, big and small. Accept it, apologize if you did something wrong, and move on.
How Do I Deal With... The Feelings? You Know. *All* the Feelings?
Also, if you have time and money, Therapy! No joke. It's a game changer. And exercise! Walking, running, dancing. Whatever helps. And my guilty pleasure? A really good cry to a sad song. Sometimes you just need to let it all out.
What About the People You Meet (or Don't Meet)?
I mean, I've spent WAY too much time trying to please people who ultimately didn’t care about me. And that's a waste. Find your tribe. The people who get you, who support you, who laugh with you (and at you). And cut the rest loose. It's liberating.
Do You Ever Get *Tired* of This Thing?
And when that happens, I retreat. I binge-watch terrible reality TV. I eat ice cream straight from the carton. I turn off the world and just… *be*. It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to take breaks. That's how you keep going. That's self-care, in its most basic, unglamorous form. Sometimes just surviving is enough. And that is more than ok.
Okay, So... Any Actual *Advice*? Or Are We Just Rambling?
***Be Kind. To yourself, and to others.***
That's it. That's the whole thing. The rest? Well yeah, it's all a confusingBlog Hotel Search Site
