Escape to Paradise: Exe Las Canteras Hotel Awaits!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups. Because this isn't just a review; this is a deep dive into the glorious, potentially sunburnt pandemonium that is "Escape to Paradise: Exe Las Canteras Hotel Awaits!" Let's face it, "Escape to Paradise" sounds like the tagline of every hotel on the planet, but did this one actually deliver? Let's find out.
SEO & Metadata Stuff First (Gotta appease the algorithm, right?)
Keywords: Las Canteras Hotel, Gran Canaria, Canary Islands, Accessible Hotel, Wheelchair Accessible, Spa Hotel, Beachfront Hotel, Free Wi-Fi, Hotel Review, Hotel Accessibility, Family-Friendly Hotel, Pool with a View, Restaurant Review, Hotel Amenities, Fitness Center, Hotel Spa, Hotel Cleanliness, COVID-19 Safety, Ocean view hotel, beachfront hotel, Canary Island hotel
Meta Description: A brutally honest and hilarious review of the Exe Las Canteras Hotel in Gran Canaria! We explore accessibility, dining (including that buffet!), the spa, cleanliness, and everything in between. Find out if this "Escape to Paradise" is actually paradise, or just a mildly disappointing holiday.
Now, for the Real Deal (Prepare for Rambling!)
Alright, so, Exe Las Canteras. The name itself sounds… well, kinda generic, doesn't it? Like a hotel you'd see in an airport novel. But hey, Gran Canaria! Canary Islands! The promise of sun, sangria, and… well, hopefully, not just a mildly disappointing holiday. I went in with high hopes, ya know? Like, really high. And yeah, let's just say the reality was a rollercoaster, sometimes uphill, sometimes down, occasionally with a particularly stinky seatbelt.
Accessibility: The Gatekeeper to Paradise (Important, Though Not Always Perfect)
Okay, first things first: accessibility. This is HUGE. I need to commend them for trying. They've got a decent number of wheelchair-accessible rooms, which is a massive win. The elevators? Tick. Ramp access into the main areas? Tick. Now, the devil, as they say, is in the details. Like, navigating the pool area, that was a bit of a mission. Gravel paths and a serious lack of designated wheelchair spaces at the pool edge. One particularly awkward (and somewhat embarrassing) moment involved me getting stuck in a small pocket of sand. I had to flag down a passing waiter (who, bless him, was more than happy to help) to save me from what I’m calling, “The Great Sand Gulch of ’23.” So, kudos for the effort, Exe, but room for improvement is an understatement. Accessibility score: 7/10 (needs work, but it's a start!)
Wheelchair Accessible: Almost There!
Yeah, on that front I'll just build on the accessibility. The hotel's accessible features included elevators to all floors, accessible public restrooms, and some accessible rooms. However, things like automatic door operators were missing in some areas.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (The Fuel of Vacation, and Occasional Regret)
Let's be honest, the food can make or break a trip. And… ugh, that buffet. Okay, okay, let me take a deep breath. The buffet. (Dramatic pause). It was a mixed bag. The breakfast buffet? A glorious, carb-laden spectacle. Pancakes, pastries, the works. I’m pretty sure I consumed enough pastries to sustain a small marching band for a week. The Asian breakfast offerings were pretty good, too. They had a good variety of Western dishes. But lunch and dinner? A little… let's say, repetitive. The same tired salads, the same slightly overcooked meat. I'm a big fan of soups, but I'm not sure I can get on board with the same soup every day! Still, there was a poolside bar (Happy Hour, people! Yes!), and a coffee shop. The poolside bar made the repetitive food… bearable, really. Ah, the little things in life, eh? Dining score: 6/10 (Buffet trauma, but the poolside bar saved the day!)
On-Site Restaurants/Lounges - You Had Me at ‘Poolside Bar’
Okay! The poolside bar was heaven-sent. Delicious cocktails with a view, and the staff were really friendly and attentive.
Cleanliness and Safety: The COVID-19 Dance (It's a Thing)
Okay, so, with the state of the world (can I say that?!) cleanliness is paramount. The hotel did make an effort. Daily disinfection in common areas. Staff trained in safety protocols (they did seem genuinely dedicated, though maybe a smidge overzealous with the hand sanitizer at times). Rooms were sanitized between stays. They definitely showed that they cared. I wasn't particularly worried, and didn't opt out of the room sanitization. Cleanliness score: 8/10 (Doing their best!)
Things to Do, Ways to Relax: Spa Time! (Or Not?)
Alright, the Spa! This was a big selling point for me! The promise of a sauna, steam room, and massage… bliss! And it was kinda blissful. The spa itself was clean and well-maintained, but… and here's the thing… the massage… Well. Let's just say communication was a problem. I asked for a relaxing massage. I received… something that resembled a deep-tissue workout session. My muscles were screaming for mercy by the end. No body wrap, no body scrub - just a whole lot of… pressure. I do have to say though, the pool with a view was amazing. The views from the outdoor pool were great. Things to do/Relaxation score: 7/10 (Spa could be improved, poolside was perfection!)
Internet Access: Wi-Fi for the Win (and Occasional Frustration)
Free Wi-Fi! Yes! And… it mostly worked. In the rooms, it was generally reliable. Wi-Fi in public areas, however, was a different story. It would be on, and then would be off. Don't even think about trying to stream anything on a particularly busy afternoon. You've been warned! Internet score: 6/10 (Good in rooms, patchy elsewhere.)
For the Kids: Babysitters and Smiles (Or Tears?)
Okay, I am not a parent, so I can only go by observations. The hotel seemed to cater well for kids. Family rooms, Kids facilities (a small playground, I think?). Babysitting service. Seems like a good deal. For the Kids: 7/10 (Seemed fine to me. )
Rooms: The Sanctuary (Mostly)
The rooms themselves were modern and well-appointed. Air conditioning, comfy bed, decent-sized bathroom with a separate shower. The blackout curtains were a godsend for those much-needed lie-ins. The toiletries were… well, they were there. They were pretty average. The view from my room? Stunning (ocean view, baby!). Rooms Score: 8/10 (Comfortable and well-maintained).
The Imperfections (Because Paradise Never Exists, Right?)
The minor hiccups: No pet allowed. The hotel has no proposal spot.
Okay, so, the Verdict?
Exe Las Canteras? Is it paradise? Nah. Is it a decent hotel in a great location with some serious potential? Absolutely. The staff were genuinely lovely, the location is incredible (right on the beach in Las Canteras, which is a fantastic beach!), and the bones are good. But it's not perfect. The accessibility needs work, the buffet could be a little less, shall we say, predictable, and the spa… well, let's just say I'll be looking for a softer touch next time.
Overall Score: 7/10 (Would I go back? Maybe. With lower expectations and a strong recommendation to pack a personal masseuse.)
Idaho Falls Escape: Comfort Suites' Unbeatable Deals!
Okay, buckle up buttercup. We're going to Gran Canaria, and I'm going to try and wrangle a coherent travel diary out of the glorious mess that is ME. This is for Exe Las Canteras Hotel - let's see if I survive:
Gran Canaria: A Survivor's Journal (Probably Mine)
Pre-Travel Jitters (and the Unpleasantness of Ryanair)
- Day 0 (aka "The Existential Meltdown"): Right, so I packed. Pretty sure I'm overpacked, but you know how it is – "just in case" is my middle name. The flight departs tomorrow. Ryanair, of course. Pray for me. Already had a pre-emptive anxiety attack about the baggage allowance. I swear they measure your soul in grams.
Day 1: Arrival & That Damned Beach (The Good Parts First… Maybe)
- Morning (Aeroplane Hell): Survived. Just. Ryanair felt like being crammed into a human sardine can hurtling through the air. The seat-back was, naturally, a source of unending frustration. The views though, as we descended, were actually gorgeous. Blue, shimmering water. "Okay, Gran Canaria, you've got a point."
- Afternoon (The Hotel Hustle): The Exe Las Canteras Hotel, finally! Pretty decent, actually. Nice, clean room, even if the "ocean view" is mostly a sliver between two buildings. I'll take it. Unpacked, which is code for "threw everything everywhere."
- Late Afternoon (Las Canteras Beach – Round 1): Oh. My. God. That beach. The sand feels like… pure gold? (Okay, maybe not gold, but close!) Strolled along the promenade, got instantly mesmerized. The waves are pretty choppy, not like the tranquil waters I usually favor. But, the sun is warm on my skin, the salty air is intoxicating, and I'm already thinking about how I can stretch my vacation budget to one week more.
Day 2: The Deep Dive into the Ocean (Or At Least, Trying to) & A Mid-Trip Crisis
- Morning (Water Woes): Tried to swim. Let's just say, I'm more of a "float and admire" type. The waves were relentless. Got sand in places I didn't realize sand could get to. Coughing and spluttering, and probably looking like a drowned rat.
- Afternoon (The Tourist Trap Blues): Okay, so I wandered around, tried to get to know the area better. I stumbled into the commercial zone and I really thought that would be the end of the world. Too many shops selling the same overpriced souvenirs. The pressure to constantly buy… it's exhausting. Started feeling that familiar twinge of "Am I wasting my life?" anxiety. The heat wasn’t helping.
- Evening (Self-Pity Aperitivo): Sulked. Had a glass of (expensive) wine at a seaside bar, watched the sunset. Feeling slightly less like a colossal failure, slightly more like a slightly sunburnt potato. This is not how the itinerary was supposed to go.
Day 3: The Rebirth of a Beach Bum (or at Least, a Slightly Less Defeated One)
- Morning (Beach Redemption): Went back to the beach. Decided to just… be. Read a book, people-watched. The sheer diversity of humanity is endlessly fascinating. Little kids with their sandcastles (they're always better than mine!), old couples holding hands, teenagers glued to phones… A whole world.
- Afternoon (Lunch and a Nap – Pure Bliss!): Found a small, family-run restaurant off the main promenade. The seafood was divine. Then, a proper siesta back at the hotel. Bliss. Just… bliss. I needed that.
- Evening (Getting to know the hotel): The hotel staff were wonderful, and, for the first time, I actually started feeling relaxed, instead of self-conscious.
Day 4: Exploring Beyond (and the Quest for a Decent Coffee)
- Morning (Bus Adventure!): Decided to be adventurous and take the bus. That bus ride was… an experience. Hot, crowded, and with a distinct lack of air conditioning. But I made it.
- Afternoon (Old Las Palmas – Charming Chaos): Explored the old town – Las Palmas de Gran Canaria. Pastel-colored buildings, narrow streets, and a general sense of delightful chaos. Got delightfully lost and actually loved it. I stumbled upon a tiny cafe and had what might have been the best coffee of my life. Seriously, I'd go back just for the coffee.
- Evening (Tapas & Regret): Found a tapas bar. Ate way too much. Regretting it slightly now. But, you know, tapas.
Day 5: Sunsets, Sand, and Seriously Considering Never Leaving
- Morning (More Beach, Less Angst): Back on the beach. Really starting to get the hang of this "relaxation" thing. Built a truly terrible sandcastle (but who cares!). Just watched the waves come in.
- Afternoon (The Art of Doing Nothing Well): Found a new spot on the beach, in a patch of shade. Just… sat. And breathed. And realized that I was actually, properly enjoying myself. No pressure to do anything. Just be.
- Evening (Sunset Spectacle): Watched the sunset from the beach. The sky exploded in colors. I think I might have actually teared up. Gran Canaria, you beautiful, chaotic island, you've gotten to me.
Day 6: Diving Deep into the Island (And the Unexpected Reality)
- Morning (Trekking Madness): I decided to attempt a hike. Now, I'm not exactly known for my athleticism. (more like lethargy!) The hike was intense. Pretty steep, challenging terrain. I was huffing and puffing. The views were breathtaking. The thought of falling onto the rocks was slightly terrifying. I made it to the top! Got completely lost on the way back to the hotel.
- Afternoon (The Reality, in a Nutshell): Found myself in the nearest supermarket, buying bread and cheese. Realised, I was basically living my life the same way, as if I was back in the hotel. Realised I had forgotten ALL my Spanish words.
- Evening (Dinner by the Sea): The hotel restaurant was brilliant. After a day like that, I was ready to be pampered by waiters.
Day 7: Departure & The Longing (aka The Sad Goodbye)
- Morning (Packing & Regret): Packing is always the worst. How is it even possible to accumulate more stuff when you're trying to leave? The thought of going back to reality (aka work, bills, and a general lack of sunshine) is hitting hard. Feeling a deep sense of longing already.
- Afternoon (Last Beach Walk): One last walk along Las Canteras. The sand feels different now. It brings a mixture of memories from the week. Said goodbye to the waves.
- Evening (The Flight of Doom): Ryanair again. Sigh. But this time, it wasn't so bad. I have a different memory of this week.
Post-Travel Reflections (aka The Aftermath)
- The Verdict: Gran Canaria was… glorious. Messy, imperfect, exhausting, and wonderful. A reminder that sometimes, the best experiences come from embracing the chaos. I already want to go back.
- Lessons Learned: Pack light, embrace the unplanned, and learn some basic Spanish (yeah, I still can't). Most importantly, give yourself permission to just be. And always, ALWAYS, find the good coffee.
Okay, that was… a lot. I need a nap. Gran Canaria, you wild, beautiful island, you absolutely got to me. Until next time… perhaps. Maybe. Definitely.
Moncton Getaway: Unbeatable Days Inn & Suites Deal!
Escape to Paradise: Exe Las Canteras Hotel Awaits! - The Unfiltered Truth
Seriously, is this place *actually* paradise? Or is it just Instagram?
Okay, buckle up, because the reality is... it’s *complicated*. Las Canteras beach outside the hotel? Absolutely breathtaking. Picture this: I’m walking out of the hotel for the first time, after a frankly brutal flight delay (lost my luggage, naturally). I'm expecting… well, anything, really. And then BAM! Azure water, golden sand stretching forever, the sun *actually* feels warm. It's glorious. Honestly, pure bliss. Kinda felt like I was in a… stock photo, actually, haha. Then, the wind picked up. And my sunglasses blew into the ocean. So, yeah, paradise... with a side of minor existential crisis related to losing my favorite Ray-Bans.
Is the hotel itself any good? Like, really good?
Alright, the hotel. It's… good. Let's be honest, I went expecting the Ritz, but realistically it's more like a really well-maintained… comfortable… maybe slightly dated, but definitely charming… kind of nice hotel. The rooms are clean. That's always a win, right? My air con was a godsend. I mean, the Canary Islands in July? You NEED air con. I had a balcony, which was a *huge* plus. Woke up and had breakfast on it. The view of the ocean itself made me think maybe I was in paradise. At least, until I found out I paid extra for the ocean view. They got me.
Oh! And the shower pressure. Seriously, folks, the shower pressure was *fantastic*. A really, really good water pressure. That's important after a day spent getting sandy. Little victories, you know?
Tell me about the breakfast buffet. Because breakfast is EVERYTHING.
Oh. My. God. The breakfast. This is where things get interesting. On the one hand, there's the sheer volume of food. Mountains of pastries. Fruits I’d never even *seen* before (like, what *is* a dragon fruit?). An omelette station, which, let's be real, is a sign of true luxury. The coffee was… passable (I'm a coffee snob, sue me). I went *hard* on the bacon. And the little pastries! I think I ate my weight in those.
But here's the messy truth: it was *packed*. Utter chaos during prime breakfast time. Like a well-fed, slightly aggressive, stampede. You'd spend more time dodging other guests than enjoying your coffee. I found a rogue child sneaking pastries into her purse. I was tempted to do the same. And, honestly, sometimes the eggs felt like they'd been sitting under the heat lamps since the dawn of time. But, hey. Bacon. And a view. Can't complain too much, right?
Is the location good for exploring? Or am I stuck in a tourist bubble?
Brilliant location! The beach is right there! You literally roll out of bed, and you're there! That’s already a major win. The main shopping street is nearby. Loads of restaurants and bars are within walking distance. You *could* easily spend your entire vacation just on that stretch of beach, getting tanned, eating tapas, and drinking sangria. And honestly, I'm not judging if you did. I almost did. I actually did that quite a bit!
But Gran Canaria is a beautiful island. There's so much more to see! You can easily get buses or taxis to explore other parts of the island. Just... be prepared for some serious driving on those roads. Those winding roads! I have a terrible sense of direction, and I was constantly getting lost. But getting lost can be its own amazing adventure, right? Right??!
What about the staff? Are they helpful? Will they put up with my terrible Spanish?
The staff? Mostly lovely. Seriously. Generally, they were super-friendly and helpful. They put up with my butchered Spanish with admirable patience. I mean, I tried. (Pro tip: learn how to say "una cerveza, por favor" before you go.) There was one guy at reception who always smiled, no matter how many times I needed assistance (which was a lot, because… well, lost luggage, remember?). He deserves a medal.
They were eager to please. Made me feel welcome. Made me feel… less like a total tourist idiot, which is a huge win in my book. I did accidentally order a plate of raw onions once, instead of a salad, because of my poor Spanish. I'll just call it a... cultural learning experience. They were very nice about it.
Okay, so what’s the *one* thing you’ll NEVER forget about this hotel?
Okay, this is a tough one, because… well, the entire experience was pretty memorable. The amazing people; the wonderful beach. But… the *one* thing? It has to be the seagull incident. I was eating my breakfast (after successfully navigating the buffet stampede, might I add), and I turned away for literally *one* second. One single, measly second. And in that second, a seagull dive bombed my plate and *stole* a sausage right off my plate.
I swear, it was like something out of a cartoon. It just swooped in, grabbed the sausage, and then gave me this look, like, "What? Was I not swift enough?" I was so stunned, I just sat there mouth agape, watching this bird happily munch on MY sausage. It was absolutely outrageous. And hilarious. Afterward I felt a profound connection with that seagull. I felt like we understood each other. To this day, I still think about that sausage. It's an important moment that changed me as a person. Never trust a seagull… but also, respect a good aerial sausage heist.
Any other tips for surviving/thriving at the Exe Las Canteras?
Pack sunscreen. More than you think you'll need. Seriously.
Learn a few basic Spanish phrases. Even just "hello," "thank you," and "where's the bathroom?" will go a long way.
Bring a small bag for the beach.
Don't be afraid to try the local food. Some of it is AMAZING. Some, well… let's just say, try a smaller portion first.
Most importantly: go with an open mind and a senseHidden Stay
