Escape to The Den: s'Hertogenbosch's Hidden Gem (Tribute Portfolio Hotel)
Escape to The Den: s'Hertogenbosch’s Cozy Chaos (aka, My Slightly Overwrought Review)
Okay, so I just stumbled back, blinking in the Dutch sunlight, from Escape to The Den, the supposed "Hidden Gem" Tribute Portfolio Hotel in s'Hertogenbosch. And let me tell you, "hidden" is right. Finding the damn thing was like navigating a particularly confusing level of Mario Kart, but hey, I made it! Now, after some serious soul-searching (and a nap that involved a LOT of dreaming about cheese), here's the honest, messy truth. Buckle up, buttercups.
(Metadata & SEO Stuff - because apparently, I do need to be a robot sometimes…)
- Keywords: Escape to The Den, s'Hertogenbosch Hotel, Tribute Portfolio, Netherlands Hotel, Accessible Hotel, Spa Hotel, Restaurant, Reviews, Travel, Den Bosch
- Meta Description: Honest review of Escape to The Den, a Tribute Portfolio hotel in s'Hertogenbosch. Accessibility, dining, spa, rooms, and quirky observations – get the real scoop before you book!
(The Arrival & Accessibility – Or, My Initial Panic Attack)
First off, navigating there was… an experience. Seriously, even with Google Maps yelling at me in Dutch, it felt like a quest. But, finally, bam! I was there. Now, the good news is the accessibility is pretty good. They’ve got an elevator, and I spied facilities for disabled guests, so that's a huge plus. The entrance, however, was a little… stylishly cobbled, if you catch my drift. Wheelchair accessibility is advertised, which is great, but for someone with any mobility issues, the cobblestones (which run to the front desk, which they do indeed have) can be a bit of a challenge.
(Rooms That Almost Made Me Cry - In a Good Way)
I’m a sucker for a good room. And, dammit, these rooms almost brought a tear to my eye. The decor is… well, imagine a cozy, slightly eccentric aunt's house, but WAY more stylish. Think exposed brick, plush carpets, and a bed you want to dive headfirst into. I had a room on a high floor (thank you, elevator!), and the view was pretty good.
- Rooms with Bonus Points:
- Air Conditioning: Blessedly cold air, a lifesaver on a hot day.
- Blackout Curtains: Slept like a baby (after the cheese-induced dream, obviously).
- Free Wi-Fi: Crucial. I’m addicted.
- Mini-Bar: stocked with… well, let's just say I may have sampled liberally.
- Separate Shower/Bathtub: A godsend after a long day of… well, existing.
- In-Room Safe: Peace of mind, because I'm clumsy and drop everything.
They also have a bunch of other in-room amenities, including an alarm clock, bathrobes and slippers (luxury!), and even a reading light (helpful for avoiding those pesky late-night phone scrolls). Available in all rooms: Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], and Window that opens.
(Food Glorious Food (And My Slightly Overwhelmed Stomach))
Okay, let's talk about food. The hotel has a few dining options, and let me tell you, they weren’t kidding about international cuisine.
- Breakfast (Buffet): It was… extensive. I’m pretty sure I saw every type of cold cut known to man. The buffet was actually pretty decent, lots more choices than I was expecting. They have a decent Western breakfast (eggs, bacon, the usual suspects) AND Asian breakfast options.
- Restaurants: There is an a la carte restaurant, but I'm not sure what the exact choices were, I was a bit too full from breakfast.
- Poolside Bar: Didn't try it, but the idea of sipping something fancy next to the pool… very tempting.
- Important Note: I didn't find a salad in restaurant.
(Relaxation, Spa, & The Pursuit of Bliss – Or Attempting to Be Fancy)
The spa… this is where the Escape part really kicks in. I have to say, the spa, with its Pool with view, Sauna and Steamroom. The spa is advertised, but I was not able to access it because of some other issue. Let's just say I spent more time admiring the view (the view, by the way, is fantastic) than I did actually becoming zen. There's also a fitness center if you're into that sort of masochism.
(Cleanliness, Safety & The Feeling of, You Know, Not Dying)
In this current world of pandemics, safety is a big deal. They seem to take cleanliness seriously.
- Daily Disinfection in Common Areas: Check.
- Hand Sanitizer Everywhere: Double check.
- Staff Trained in Safety Protocol: Triple check.
- Room Sanitization Opt-Out Available: Good to know, for the eco-conscious among us.
- Physical Distancing: They try, but let's face it, sometimes proximity is unavoidable.
(Services, Conveniences & The Little Things That Matter)
They had a few really handy services, as well.
- Concierge: Always helpful.
- Daily Housekeeping: My room was pristine every time I returned.
- Luggage Storage: Essential when you're a chronic over-packer like me.
- Facilities for Disabled Guests: More good news for inclusivity.
- Laundry Service: I’m not sure I used it, but I saw the list and everything.
(The Verdict: Worth the Escape?)
Yeah, I actually think so. Despite the minor hiccups and my own personal brand of chaos, Escape to The Den is a charming hotel with a lot to offer. It's cozy, stylish, and genuinely seems to care about its guests. Just… maybe pack a cheese board. You'll thank me later.
(Just a Small Rant About That One Time…)
Oh, and one more thing… I booked a taxi service, and it was a bit awkward because of the language barrier. The staff were fantastic in fixing it, but it was a mild moment of panic. So, yeah. Maybe brush up on your Dutch phrases before you go?
Escape to Paradise: Tandara Hotel Motel Sarina's Aussie Oasis Awaits!
Alright, buckle up buttercup, because we're about to embark on a chaotic, delicious, and hopefully not-too-embarrassing adventure in Den Bosch, specifically at that Tribute Portfolio Hotel. Forget the perfectly polished itineraries – this is going to be a messy, emotional, and hopefully hilarious plunge into the heart of the Netherlands. Consider this less of a schedule, and more of a… well, a vibe check.
Day 1: Arrival, Cheese, and Existential Dread (Probably)
1:00 PM: Land at Eindhoven Airport (EHV). Okay, first hurdle: surviving the budget airline. Praying my luggage makes it. Seriously, I swear I packed extra socks! The flight was… an experience. The guy next to me snored like a distressed walrus. Note to self: invest in noise-canceling headphones.
2:30 PM: Taxi to "The Den" Tribute Portfolio Hotel. Ah, the promised land! Hopefully, the online pics haven't lied. My expectations are cautiously optimistic. I'm a sucker for a good hotel lobby, you know? Gives me the illusion of being fancy for, like, five minutes.
3:30 PM: Check-in. Or Should I Say, the Great Room Escape! Oh boy, I swear, the front desk person, bless her heart, seemed as frazzled as I was. Needed to use a translation app. It was a complete ordeal to get the key, and the key card machine was being difficult, making everything more difficult than it needed to be.
4:00 PM: Room recon & emotional breakdown (kidding… mostly): Take a deep breath. Assess the room situation. Is it clean? Is the view decent? Am I going to be able to shower without the water going cold? I'm already envisioning myself collapsing on the bed in a jet-lagged heap.
4:45 PM: First mission: Find the local grocery store (Albert Heijn, possibly). The quest begins. I'm planning a cheese and wine strategy for tonight, because, let's be honest, that's what you DO in the Netherlands. Also, chocolate. Mustn't forget the chocolate. It's a crucial part of the survival plan.
5:30 PM: Cheese, Wine, and Netflix. This is where my plans might fall apart. Let me tell you, cheese in The Netherlands is a different level of delicious. I would have to buy more, because I don't think what I bought would be enough. My favorite cheese, I think, is called "Gouda," which I think I want to try. I can't handle bad cheese, so hopefully I will find some that is good.
8:00 PM: That's when the real test begins. The mental battle with my jet lag is imminent. Will I succumb to a 9 PM bedtime? Or will I, against all odds, be awake enough to feel a single moment of satisfaction? I'm anticipating the worst. But at least I have cheese.
Day 2: Art, Canals, and the Miracle of Beer
9:00 AM: Breakfast. Hopefully, the hotel breakfast is decent. I have this weird thing where terrible hotel breakfast makes me grumpy for the rest of the day. Seriously, a poorly scrambled egg can ruin an entire civilization.
10:00 AM: Explore the city center. I'm aiming for the St. John's Cathedral (Sint-Janskathedraal). Must. See. Gothic. Architecture. I'm a sucker for old churches.
11:30 AM: Canal boat tour? Maybe. Depends on the weather, my mood, and how drunk I am on coffee at that point. Canals are idyllic, but also, require a boat. And boats, as we all know, are a commitment.
1:00 PM: Lunch at a local cafe. I'm shooting for something authentically Dutch. Possibly "bitterballen" (deep-fried meatballs). My arteries are already preparing for impact.
2:00 PM: Jheronimus Bosch Art Center. I love art history! I hope it's interesting… I'm planning on visiting this place. I have to, it's on my list.
4:00 PM: Beer break! No trip to the Netherlands is complete without sampling the local ales. Finding a cozy "bruin café" is my goal. I want that dark, wooden interior, the clinking of glasses, and the general air of convivial chaos. I will just sit in a single seat and drink…
6:00 PM: Wandering the city. Getting lost on purpose. Taking photos of everything that catches my eye. Avoiding the pigeons. Pigeons are ruthless.
8:00 PM: Dinner at a restaurant. Looking for an experience that's not too expensive. And most importantly, has good food. If there's a cheese fondue on the menu, I will consider it a sign from the gods.
9:30 PM: Bed. Or the attempt at bed. The beer may or may not have influenced my sleep schedule.
Day 3: The End (And Maybe a Surprise)
9:00 AM: Okay, the last breakfast at the hotel. I feel like it is a final test. Hopefully, I get a good one. I don't want one of those hotels that serve the same breakfast every day.
10:00 AM: One last walk. One last look at The Den Bosch.
11:00 AM: Check out. This is going to be tough, saying goodbye.
**12:00 PM: Farewell. Maybe I cry. Maybe I don't. But I know I'll be packing.
1:00 PM: Flight. The journey back home.
Important Disclaimers:
- This itinerary is subject to change based on whim, mood, and the availability of good cheese.
- Actual times may vary wildly, especially if a particularly attractive windmill is spotted.
- I am not responsible for any emotional breakdowns, excessive cheese consumption, or questionable decisions made under the influence of Dutch beer.
- Expect to read about some great experiences.
- This is just a trip, so whatever happens, I'll cope.
So there you have it. My trip to Den Bosch, in all its messy, unpredictable glory. Wish me luck. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to find some Gouda… and perhaps a little sanity.
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Escape to The Den: s'Hertogenbosch's Hidden Gem (Tribute Portfolio Hotel) - FAQ (with a side of me)
Okay, so...is Escape to The Den REALLY a "hidden gem"? Don't they say that about *everything* these days?
Alright, alright, I get it. "Hidden gem" is a cliché. It's like saying something is "unique" or "iconic" – yawn. But LISTEN. Escape to The Den… it *kind of* is. Look, I'm jaded, okay? I’ve seen hotels. I've stayed in… let's just say some questionable establishments. But this place? It actually has a *vibe*. It's not just a box with a bed. It's got this… I don’t know… *charm*. Maybe it's the fact that it's in Den Bosch, which itself is a bit of a hidden gem if you don't know the Netherlands. Or maybe it's the little details. More on those later, because I’m getting ahead of myself. Short answer: yeah, it's pretty good. For real.
What's the *best* thing about Escape to The Den? Like, if you had to pick ONE thing?
Ugh, one thing? Fine. If I *absolutely* had to choose... it's the bar. And not just any bar. This bar, you guys, is where the magic *really* happens. Picture this: Cobblestone streets outside, the faint glow of streetlights reflecting in the wet cobblestones. Inside, a warm, inviting glow, the bartender is a friendly guy with a mischievous grin and the bar is busy. They make a seriously good Negroni (my go-to test of a decent bar). It's also seriously well stocked. I swear I spent half the evening in this bar, talking to strangers, listening to the quiet clink of glasses, people laughing, having a great time, and just generally feeling…calm. It was glorious. Actually, I think it was the first time I had a good Negroni in my life.
What are the rooms *really* like? Are they stylish or just…another hotel room?
Okay, here’s where I get real. The rooms are… good. Not *mind-blowing*, but definitely stylish. My room had this exposed brick wall – always a win in my book. The bed was comfy. The bathroom was… well, the bathroom was fine. It was clean, the shower pressure was decent. There was, I think, a minor misstep: the towels were a little thin. But look, I'm being picky. The overall aesthetic is definitely on point. Think modern, with some nods to the building’s history. They've got the whole "industrial chic" thing down. But… and I’m going to be honest here… I forgot to *really* look at the room because I was still hungover from the amazing bar.
What about the location? Is it easy to get around?
Location, location, location, right? Escape to The Den is in the heart of Den Bosch. Which, if you've never been, is a *fantastic* thing. It’s walkable. So very walkable. You can wander around, get lost in the canals, eat way too much Bossche bol (don't even ASK me about it – it's a cream-filled chocolate ball of pure deliciousness), and generally have a wonderful time. The hotel is within easy reach of the Saint John's Cathedral, all the cute shops, and everything else you'd want to see. Den Bosch is small and charming, and the hotel's location puts EVERYTHING right at your fingertips. Seriously, bring comfy shoes.
Is the staff helpful? Did they solve all of your problems?
Okay, staff. Let’s talk staff. They were… fine, to be honest. Not amazing, but not terrible. The reception had a bit of a wait, that was slightly irritating. They weren't tripping over themselves to do anything, which in fairness, kept the laidback charm of the hotel. But they were polite. They answered questions. They even gave me a map. Which, honestly, I didn’t actually use, because I’m terrible with maps. I mostly relied on wandering aimlessly and the kindness of strangers (and Google Maps on my phone, of course). I’d say they aimed for helpful but felt a little understaffed. But hey, everyone's human. But still good.
Breakfast? Worth it?
Breakfast. Oh, breakfast. Listen, I’m a breakfast person. I need my coffee, my eggs, my bacon… preferably all of the above. The breakfast at Escape to The Den… was good. Not mind-blowing like the bar (I'm still dreaming about that Negroni), but good. There was a decent selection of cold cuts, cheeses, and pastries. The coffee was… passable. Honestly, I was probably still a bit fuzzy from the Negronis the night before. Was it worth the extra money? Probably. Because, convenience. And also, I needed fuel for my Bossche bol pilgrimage. Don’t skip the breakfast.
Did you have any bad experiences? Be honest!
Alright, the truth. There *was* one minor hiccup. The Air Conditioning… kinda struggled a bunch. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't the arctic blast I wanted after a long day of walking. It was a bit of a humid night. My room got a bit warmer than ideal, but it was livable. I’m also pretty certain the elevator got stuck for a few minutes, but the other people in it were nice, so it was okay. That being said, the A/C was fixed the next day. All these minor things I mentioned are just a tiny blip. But yeah - sometimes the air conditioning wasn't able to keep up, and the elevator needed some love. The hotel is pretty much perfect otherwise.
Would you stay there again?
Absolutely. Without question. Despite the minor issues. I'd go back to Den Bosch, I'd go back to that bar, and absolutely, I’d stay at Escape to The Den again. The flaws were tiny. The good stuff… the vibe, the location, the Negroni… it completely outweighed them. Is it the perfect hotel ever? No. Is it a brilliant place to spend a weekend in a lovely city? YES. And I can't recommend it enough. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to look up how to make a Negroni.
